I want to go everywhere I've never been before.
I want to read all of the books I've never read.
I want to see all of the movies I've never seen.
Is that so much to ask?
Picture courtesy of Joanna and our wonderful day in Salisbury, MA. Thanks for making me skip work for this :)

Rest in Peace

There are some people in your life that really make a difference. That shape who you want to become, and give you the courage to follow your dreams. Then, somewhere along the road of growing up, you lose touch with that person and you only think of it after it's too late. Kevin Kavanaugh was that person for me. He taught me how to play the piano, and inspired my love for music. I disappointed him often (I barely ever practiced) but I always showed up to my lessons. We talked about life, about my parents, about his daughter, about school. And then, eventually, I stopped showing up. But I kept studying music, all the way until the day I graduated college with a degree in music industry. Did he have anything to do with that? I guess in hindsight, he had everything to do with that. Kevin and I kept in touch long after I stopped playing the piano. When he came to visit his daughter in Boston we planned to meet up, and of course that never happened. I didn't even know he was sick.

The original keyboard player for Southside Johnny and the Asbury Jukes, Kevin's recieved a beautiful recognition on their homepage. As a musician, teacher and mentor, he's touched many lives - and we can be thankful that we knew him.

RIP Kevin. You will be missed more than you know.

Yesterday while checking out at Stop & Shop I decided to wait in line for a real live person, rather than the self-service lines I've become accustomed to. The woman was older, and looked particularly uphappy to be there. I set myself up to become frustrated by her lack of customer service, when something happened. A guy who was presumably the manager on shift was preparing to leave by screaming goodbye to various workers around us. He looked right past her to say goodbye to someone in the aisles, and as I looked at this woman she said something to the affect of "sure don't say goodbye to me," under her breath. And then I saw the tear. The pain on this woman's face took me by surprise. She stood there looking at him walking around and finally walk out the door, just waiting for him to acknowledge her. For a moment, I wasn't sure what she was going to do. I wasn't even focused on the fact that she had stopped ringing me up - my heart ached for her. She looked like I felt but there was something so inherently sad in this woman's face that in turn made me feel so sad for her. I immediately wanted to give her a hug and let her know she was appreciated. But I didn't. Because where are the lines in a situation like this?

He walked out the door and she turned around, wiped a tear from her face, finished ringing me up in silence, and went right on to the next person. Going through the motions when everything in her body was just tired and sad. And I still feel so sad for her. I wish I would have done something besides just watching this happen and walking away. Like everyone else has done to her.

Why do we let other people affect our happiness to such a large extent? What is it about love and acknowledgement that rules our emotions? How can a stranger make you feel so sad, or so angry, that you can lose yourself in a situation with someone you don't even know? And when we lose that acknowledgement from people we do know and love, why do we think that world will stop turning? That our happiness depends on others? There's something deeply wrong with this way of thinking and I'm not sure how to grasp it.

But I do know that when I leave the office today I will say goodbye to everyone, no matter who they are or how I feel about them. Because they are here, and because everyone deserves to be acknowledge and appreciated. We can never fully know what someone is going through in their lives, but the most we can do is believe that everyone is doing the best they can from where they are, and they deserve to be recognized.


"Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you've got a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies-"God damn it, you've got to be kind." — Kurt Vonnegut

"If you just look at all that already exists in your life, all that you
already have: unlimited air to breathe, ample lighting to see, music to hear,
books to read, stars to dream by, trees to gaze at, floors to dance on, friends
to cavort with, enemies to befriend, strangers to meet, woods to walk through,
beaches to comb, rocks to scale, rains to cleanse you, rivers to float you,
animals to comfort you, you do have to admit, there's more of it than you could
ever, ever, ever spend. But try anyway." Mike Dooley

It's good to know I'm not above crawling into my roommates bed in the middle of the night balling like a baby. This is going to be harder than I thought.


To All the Boys I've Loved Before

"and I guess it’s so much better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all / I know that’s some easy shit to say / but I’m still gonna try to live by it / I’m still gonna try to put my faith to rest in it / I will sleep on dry pillows now in a bed big enough to love myself in / I will awake these coming mornings with my eyes dry and shining full of the knowledge I am priceless and worth nothing but honesty" - Mayda Del Valle

Today's post is simple inspiration from one of my favorite people that I've never met, Tristan Prettyman.


Remember to breathe
& listen to your favorite songs.