"In the course of your well-lived life, you will make choices that will appear to outside observers – mothers, fathers, friends, family, lovers, haters, anyone who is not you – to be unreasonable. Those choices, your choices, your unreasonable choices, are only unreasonable to other people. They make sense to you, because you see it. You feel it. Desire, vision. It’s yours. And you will get there." - Make Unreasonable Choices

"Doing as others told me, I was blind.
Coming when others called me, I was lost.
Then I left everyone, including myself.
Then I found everyone, including myself."
Rumi

"I believe that by being the best and most healed version of ourselves we can truly make a difference in the world. I’m not an activist or politician, and I’m not able to have any direct impact on the areas of the world where help is needed. But what I can do is make a difference in the small pocket of the world I call home.

I can live with integrity and be honest about my feelings, even when they hurt. I can put my whole heart into my work and pay forward the generosity that was shown to me when my world fell apart. I can look after myself, knowing that by healing my own hurts I won’t be passing them on to anyone else. In a society like ours, filled with so many emotionally wounded people acting out their pain, this is possibly the most important work we could ever do—heal our hurts so we don’t pass them on."

New mantra: No troubles, just adventures.

My latest rant.

Whatever relationships you have attracted in your life at this moment, are precisely the ones you need in your life at this moment. There is a hidden meaning behind all events, and this hidden meaning is serving your own evolution. — Deepak Chopra

"So, rumble, young musicians, rumble. Open your ears and open your hearts. Don't take yourself too seriously, and take yourself as seriously as death itself. Don't worry. Worry your ass off. Have ironclad confidence, but doubt – it keeps you awake and alert. Believe you are the baddest ass in town, and, you suck!

It keeps you honest. It keeps you honest. Be able to keep two completely contradictory ideas alive and well inside of your heart and head at all times. If it doesn't drive you crazy, it will make you strong. And stay hard, stay hungry, and stay alive. And when you walk onstage tonight to bring the noise, treat it like it's all we have. And then remember, it's only rock and roll." - Bruce.

"I think the most important thing I took away from all that time with my nose in happiness research and behavioral econ is that we overestimate the value of what we already have and so underestimate the upside of taking a chance, leaving something behind, and making a big change. Most of us end up where we are through a sort of drift. Sometimes that works out splendidly. And drift hasn’t not worked out for me. I really like what I do. But, alas, I don’t really love it. I never wanted to be a pundit or a “public intellectual.” I always wanted to be an artist of some sort and I still want that. I want to make awesome shit people love. It’s my new motto: make awesome shit people love. So here we go!"

My latest Not For Sale blog post: On how to be a conscious consumer.

A big thank you to The Onion, for writing a story about my life. I'll file this one in the "It's funny because it's true" category*.

*I'm not proud of this.

Happy Birthday to one of my always-there-for-me-through-good-times-and-bad-best-friends, Vilvaraja. We've laughed, we've cried, we've lived together, we've split incredibly large bottles of vodka and wine (although not at the same time, I don't think...) and forgotten a lot of wonderful, as well as terrible, nights. I love you so much and I don't know what I'd do without you. <3

[Beware: This is uncharacteristically positive. And long.]

Today was a good day. Today was a conglomeration of all that has been crazy, and difficult, and awesome, and annoying. In moving to the other side of a country, in missing good friends, in finding my place in a new place, in making new friends.

Nothing particular happened today. It was a Wednesday. It was rainy and windy and foggy and I spent the day staring at a computer, and I'm still staring a computer. But I'm content. I'm specifically reminded of a few weeks into living in Vietnam where I wrote a blog post about being content, and I think it made my mom cry. To know, without ever really knowing or being able to physically see, that I'm okay. I can breathe easy tonight, and I'll finally get some sleep, because my mind is clear and I'm content. And that feels so damn good.

Last week I had a near breakdown. I called everyone I knew. I cried. I drank a lot of wine and slept at my friends house because I didn't want to face my new home. I saw my life flashing before my eyes for no reason at all other than I was at the crux - the time when what you thought you knew and what you expected and what is really happening all come together and you either sink or swim. Now that I'm on the other side I can confidently say I nearly drown. But I made it, safe and sound. It's no small miracle, or a surprise, that the people I love helped me out in more ways than one. Whether you gave me advice, listened to me bitch, or helped me drink, thank you. I don't know how we'd all get through our crazy without each other. I am so, so grateful to have such amazing people around me (on both coasts.)

I've learned a lot about myself in last two weeks. I don't give myself enough credit for what I do or what I'm capable of. I moved across the freaking country! To follow my passion! For no money! I don't speak up when I start to drown because I think that people will think less of me, or question my abilities. Wrong! People question your abilities when you start to drown and let it affect your positivity and productivity and retreat into this weird, silent, miserable Sam. People will help you! They want to help you! Just ask! I did not ever deal with my last break up. Ever. A few things happened the last two weekends to bring light to this, but also to let me let it go. I haven't been stuck on the person, but the situation. For letting things get to where they were and becoming a shell of myself. While getting unnecessarily angry when Michelle played "Somebody That I Used to Know" (sorry!) Jenny reminded me that it was true - some people get addicted to a certain kind of sadness. And it's ridiculous. And a waste of time. And I have so many awesome things going on in my life right now that I literally don't have time to be thinking about how I could have handled things differently, or at all. It is a weight off of my shoulders to not have anything to worry about. So much free space to think! and breathe! and live!

I rearranged my room. I organized my personal email (I'm still behind, but they are in folders and I have to do lists.) I downloaded new music (ZZ Ward, Of Monsters and Men, and Young the Giant. I highly suggest you take a listen.) I asked for new projects at work and I'm banging 'em out like no other. I'm getting praise for providing a gusto that I didn't previously have because I thought there was no other option but to be unhappy with an unexpected situation. But it's true; life is what you make it. It's incredible how much energy you can put into negative thinking without even realizing it.

This past weekend I went to San Luis Obispo with amazing girlfriends. Not only am I incredibly thankful for taking two days off, new friends, girl time, bachelor parties, road trips and having people I can speak honestly with, but my god am I in love with California. You really can fall in love with a place and I'm not ashamed to say - it's happened. Thank you Highway 1. Even with the nausea brought on from a semi college-like reunion causing me to need to lie down during some of your curvy, edge-of-the-mountain turns, you still blew me away. How can I ever leave you?

In perfect timing, as usual, Marisa sent me this article today; about the places in life where we find our essential selves. While I don't agree with his love of the Hong Kong International Airport (after a terrible, no sleep for days, 400 EXTRA dollars experience) or temples (after backpacking through southeast asia I can confidently say, you've seen one, you've seen 'em all) the rest of his article rings absolutely true. I recently found solitude in a walk around San Fran's chinatown and a stumble onto Jack Kerouac Alley. Then I entered a sweet little bookstore full of beat poetry wanna-be's and even though I immediately knew I didn't belong in there, I loved every minute of it. And then, the next weekend, Highway 1. My thin places. Thanks, California. I think I'll stick around for a little while and see what you can do with me.

Latest post on a success story from Romania.

Latest fellowship blog post!

When in doubt, make a fool of yourself. There is a microscopically thin line between being brilliantly creative and acting like the most gigantic idiot on earth. So what the hell, leap. ~Cynthia Heimel

"You cannot connect the dots looking forward.
You can only connect them looking backward.
So you have to trust that the dots will
somehow connect in your future.
You have to trust in something--
your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever.
This approach has never let me down,
and it has made all the difference in my life."

Steve Jobs

New Grace Potter song is out! (Also known as my favorite artist, ever). I've seen and heard her evolve since her first album, and this is an interesting new sound but I love that she's experimenting and can't wait to hear the rest of the album! Check it out here.

No, I won't post EVERYTHING on Charlotte Sometimes, but maybe every other thing. Since you might not hear her originals on The Voice and don't have every song she's every written, like I do, you should check out this recent radio performance. Live shows of The Voice start on Monday - WATCH AND VOTE!

I can't figure out how to embed this video, so click here. The man is a genius, and this talk reminds me why I love music. Why I truly, study-for-my-entire-life-and-even-go-to-a-conference-in-stockton kind of love music.

Before I post this next quote I want to preface it by saying I'm not as sad as this blog may refer to. I mostly post things that I want to keep a record of or refer back to when I am bummed out. This quote moved me and is something that I want to remember not only when grieving, but dealing with every emotion. I tend to put things in the back of my head and internalize until I can't take it anymore and I explode into a disaster of emotions. But hey, admitting you have a problem is the first step, right? Today I'm thankful for my girlfriends. For amazing friends on both sides of the country who will let me come over in a moments notice, spend the night when I don't want to go home, listen to me vent and stress out about things I shouldn't be stressing out about, and crawl into bed crying (no, this hasn't happened again Marisa... just still grateful for that :) I'm fairly happy but staying introspective and figuring out the way things work and where I fit in this crazy world. I will say one thing though... I think I belong on this coast.

___________________________

Denying grief its power squelches your vitality. You can dream and laugh and march on, but until you swallow the bitter tea that grief has brewed, things won't be as vibrant or grounded as they could be. And that's half dead. Recognize where you are numb. Notice the memories that ouch the most. This is the beginning of response-ability. - Danielle LaPorte

And if I wanted to stay

You won't stand in my way

But I'm choosing to leave

With your heart on my sleeve

It feels too good without you.

Came across this today and it was exactly what I needed to hear. Today I'm thankful for new friends who are figuring me out even though I apparently "need to talk about my feelings more." I'm also thankful to be surrounded by people who call me out on my ridiculousness.

“I can be changed by what happened to me, but I refuse to be reduced to it.” -Maya Angelou

I may not be writing on here, but I am writing!!

Here's the most recent article published to our site, on the I Am Not For Sale Tour. I am unofficially the tour manager for our Academy World Tour, and although I don't book the shows with The Wrecking, it is very much at the forefront of what we do. I not-so-secretly enjoy having articles published (something tangible!) and I even made that sweet collage!!

My Week Four fellowship blog post, on stories of hope and what inspires me to keep doing what I'm doing. We were given a little vacation (President's Day) for Week 5, and my Week 6 post will be published soon.. stay tuned!

A story on our newest project in Amsterdam. I am so excited about this!!

I'll have another one out on Thailand soon, so keep reading and sending to all of your friends :)

If there were words to describe watching this, I'd be more eloquent here. There just isn't enough to say. I feel like I watched this girl grow up, from going to choir camps together to seeing her play at a tiny coffee shop in Belmar (Coffee Blue, anyone?) to going on the road with her on her first ever tour. Not only is Jessie an amazing person, inside and out, she's so passionate and works so hard at what she wants that she's never ceased to amaze me. I cried when I watched this episode and I'm so excited to see what she has in store for her. Nothing but love, girl.

For Jake!

Saskia is an amazing writer and I am thankful to be able to say that I met her for coffee and a bagel one morning while she was flying between Canada, San Fran, and back to Amsterdam. She is working with Not For Sale on an amazing project that I would love to be a part of (More info here.) Until then, I'll skype with her as she helps me write the international articles (my first one was posted below!) and I'll follow her blog, as she writes about the hard, overwhelming, incredibly amazing thing we are both doing. For the first time, I'm comfortable saying that I'm finally working to end modern-day slavery. Saskia's last post just might get me out of bed in the morning.

I have become one of those people. Those stressed out workaholics. Sometimes I love being one of those people. Sometimes I thrive on always having something to do and somewhere to be. And sometimes I feel like I'll never catch up and I'll never have a second to catch my breath or finish a project or talk to the people I love. I hate that second person.

Amber Rae's last post just made me take a second to slow down. De-stress. Think. It wasn't actually about this, but I don't want to loose sight of why I'm here, what I'm doing, what I want to do. I'm going to try to take an hour every night for myself. Personal emails, catching up on reading, writing. It's not a lot, and it's going to be hard. I live with six people and will always have work to catch up and something else to read and lots of noise and things to do. I also need to wake up earlier to go running, as tired as I might be, I need to do it. There are a lot of people out there who work longer and harder than me and I just have to adjust. So I'm going to.

My favorite part of Amber's post was thinking about what type of environment I want to be living in and asking myself what steps I can take today towards where I want to be - imagine yourself there now and feel like that every day. How awesome does that sound? BE HAPPY NOW. Duh.

Other random ramblings....

If you're in Boston, I probably miss you a lot. If you have an adorable little girl who definitely already forgets who I am already, can you show her a picture of me and then read her the book I bought and then send me something sparkly? If you're in my favorite band, will you send me some of your new songs? If you're Marisa, will you bake me something delicious? Am I being too needy? :)

I know some really awesome people. Like my fellow fellows. My friend Tim in the Peace Corps in Africa. My girl Jessie, who auditioned for the Voice. My birthday/name twin, who just happens to be the STAR of this video. My friends are all over the world and they're amazing. I'm blown away by their dedication and passion and I'm so lucky to know them.

Happiness comes from the intersection of what you love, what you're good at, and what the world needs. What big problems are you trying to solve?

I wrote this! I'll be starting quite a good portfolio, which I'm pretty happy about.

Loved this piece for so many reasons. I loved Moneyball, and I love how our boss made everyone read it and still uses it as an every day metaphor to good business. I think my old boss would have done exactly the same thing. We don't care as much about the failures or successes, but we want you to get on base. I also love that article for the honesty it brings out regarding the asian american culture and the expectations stowed upon them. Will definitely try to keep up with Lin in the news.

I love this. So much. Because life is an unreasonable affair.

“Few will have the greatness to bend history itself, but each of us can work to change a small portion of events. It is from numberless diverse acts of courage and belief that human history is shaped. Each time a man stands up for an ideal, or acts to improve the lot of others, or strikes out against injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope, and crossing each other from a million different centers of energy and daring those ripples build a current which can sweep down the mightiest walls of oppression and resistance.” – Robert F Kennedy.

Check out my week three post! Inspired by another NFSer (a blog I link to in my story) I talk about how people in this movement need to have hope, we need to make the conscious decision to focus on hope every single day. This movement is bigger than ourselves and we cannot loose focus on the fact that we are making a real difference here. Inspiration!! If you have time, check out the other fellows posts too. I'm working with a really fantastic group of people.

And, another news story on just one of the amazing things we are doing abroad. Keep an eye out- soon I'll be writing some of these press releases myself!

“Few will have the greatness to bend history itself, but each of us can work to change a small portion of events. It is from numberless diverse acts of courage and belief that human history is shaped. Each time a man stands up for an ideal, or acts to improve the lot of others, or strikes out against injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope, and crossing each other from a million different centers of energy and daring those ripples build a current which can sweep down the mightiest walls of oppression and resistance.” – Robert F Kennedy.

Check out my week three post! Inspired by another NFSer (a blog I link to in my story) I talk about how people in this movement need to have hope, we need to make the conscious decision to focus on hope every single day. This movement is bigger than ourselves and we cannot loose focus on the fact that we are making a real difference here. Inspiration!! If you have time, check out the other fellows posts too. I'm working with a really fantastic group of people.

And, another news story on just one of the amazing things we are doing abroad. Keep an eye out- soon I'll be writing some of these press releases myself!

I think a lot of people could benefit from being reminded that you don't need to be sorry for doing what you need to do for yourself. A lot of people made me feel bad or guilty for leaving. But I did what I had to do for my own growth and my own sanity. And even though it's going to have its hard moments, it was the right thing to do. And I'm better for it. And the people that know me the best, the people that will always be a part of my life no matter where in the world I am and send me emails and pictures and remind me that I'm still a part of their lives, they're the ones that will look out for you and let you do what you need to do. You will always have those people, and you shouldn't spend your time worrying about the rest. Que to quote Dr. Seuss? Yes.

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."

And, because everyone says what I need to hear at the exact right time, more on the power of closing the wrong doors.

___

Loving acoustic Jesse J lately. Girl can sing.

Trying to work this one out.

"Living fully in the present moment means not looking back at what was, or forward to what might be; it means clearly seeing the brilliant shininess of what is -- and giving yourself permission to explore it."

We've got some really great things happening over here. It's so refreshing working with and for people who are so passionate. If only more companies and organizations could have the kind of gusto Not For Sale has, it would be amazing what we'd all be capable of.

Awesome #1

Awesome #2

Awesome #3

One of my main projects can be found here. Yup, just one. I've got my hands full but I'm loving every second of it.

"And that is how change happens. One gesture. One person. One moment at a time." - Libba Bray

After the crazy hours I am working, I can't pull myself together to write in this blog. But here's a link to my writing assignment for this week: my hero in the movement.

Also, another good cover!

Things to look forward to:

Superbowl party at Ketch Joanne's (my new dive)

Karin in San Fran - Feb 17th

Chris in San Fran - March 16th

Bay2Breakers + Marisa, Michelle, and possibly other friends - May 20th

Possible trip to San Diego in June

Possibly flying home end of June for Doug & Maz's wedding celebration

Taking off some weekends to explore with Jenny and/or Michelle

Who else is coming?! :)

I'm obsessed with her.

Third Eye Blind reminds me of the days of 1474. If you don't agree then you probably just don't know what that means, because I think most of us feel that way. I have trouble listening to them sometimes because of the throwbacks, but a song recently came on my shuffle that I didn't even know. I always hear songs right when I need them. And I'm dedicating this one to my very favorite person in Boston, because I'd put money on the fact that he'll be playing this over and over and over again, in true fashion, as soon as he hears it :)

PLEASE VOTE FOR MY VIDEO!

Another fellow and I made a video for Not For Sale's contest explaining what we are doing to fight human trafficking in our lifetime. Our video, "Because No One Should Be For Sale" is coming up in third place so far. Voting is upen until the 30th and you can vote ten times every 24 hours. Please help us out and spread the word!

Nicole is Better has always got the best, straight-forward advice.

"If we don’t force ourselves into scary and uncomfortable situations, we can’t grow. And if we aren’t growing, then what the fuck, right?"

Check out the awesome crew, otherwise known as the session five fellows. We'll be posting individual blogs each Sunday. This week - just get to know us!

I'm a sucker for a good cover song. Bonus points if you can make it your own.

"Whoever you are, or whatever it is that you do, when you really want something, it's because that desire originated in the soul of the universe. It's your mission on earth. And when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it." - Paulo Coelho

Press release about ME! And six other wonderful people.

Not For Sale Campaign

"Trafficking thrives in the shadows. And it can be easy to dismiss it as something that happens to someone else, somewhere else. But that is not the case. Trafficking is a crime that involves every nation on earth, and that includes our own." - Hillary Clinton

The intro to Not for Sale, a book written by the founder of our organization, David Batstone. I'm on the first chapter, but I know Dave's story, and if you have any interest at all in what I'm about to get myself into, or are just looking for a good read - find this book.

The following is via HeyAmbarRae. Totally digging her right now.

"When I hear people talk about trying to make positive changes in their lives, they often explain how they want to feel in three months or a year from now.

“If I take this job then I will make enough money to pay off my student loans. Then I’ll be happy.”

“If I do this graduate program, it will give me enough credibility. Then I’ll feel good enough to do the work I’m meant to do.”

“If I date this girl, she’ll help bring balance to my life. Then I’ll feel better.”

No. False. That job won’t make you happy. That graduate program won’t make you feel good enough. That girl won’t make you feel better either. Temporarily? Of course. But in the long term? Absolutely not.

Why? Because happiness comes through self-understanding. It comes through an awareness of who you are, what makes you tick, and why you exist. The path of your life will obey the shape of your beliefs about love, value, and possibility. To make any lasting change in your life, you must first understand that which is shaping your beliefs right now. You can’t fight it, shame it, or ignore it. With openness and understanding in mind, you must get curious about why you feel the way you do. When you welcome your feelings and let the stories unfold, you’ll get to know yourself. Your true, naked self. The kind who lives a life full of pleasure, enjoyment, and adventure.

So if you’re feeling stuck, and if you want to make any change in your life, start by listening to your feelings. Unmet feelings obscure your ability to know yourself. So starting asking questions. Be tender to yourself. Let the stories unfold. Pay attention to and accept what arises, even if it surprises you."

"If you look at it, you see a dot. That's here. That's home. That's us. On it, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever lived, lived out their lives. The aggregate of all our joys & sufferings, thousands of confident religions, ideologies & economic doctrines, every hunter & forager, every hero & coward, every creator & destroyer of civilizations, every king & peasant, every young couple in love, every hopeful child, every mother & father, every inventor & explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every superstar, every supreme leader, every saint & sinner in the history of our species, lived there on a mote of dust, suspended in a sunbeam."



"Our planet is a lonely speck in the great enveloping cosmic dark. In our obscurity -- in all this vastness -- there is no hint that help will come from elsewhere to save us from ourselves. It is up to us. It's been said that astronomy is a humbling, and I might add, a character-building experience. To my mind, there is perhaps no better demonstration of the folly of human conceits than this distant image of our tiny world. To me, it underscores our responsibility to deal more kindly and compassionately with one another and to preserve and cherish that pale blue dot, the only home we've ever known." - Carl Sagan

One of my all time favorite artists covering one of my all time favorite songs. I love when things work out that way.

I'm going to call this my hell yes for 2012. Via White Hot Truth.

wear your white shirts. get them pressed.
use your good dishes -- everyday.
shave on weekends.

do not wait for special occasions.
do not tuck your best away in the drawers, in the back of the closet, in your heart.
don't wait for holidays or invitations.

declare that your today is the special occasion.

call instead of emailing. (it feels so good to connect.)
go for coffee.

quit.
take care of it.

renounce your glory days. you've told all of those stories more than twice.
focus forward.

wear perfume for yourself. toss your only-wear-around-the-house clothes and let your good clothes graduate to around-the-house status.

intend to feel good all of the time.

write your book.
launch.

make ecstatic sex a priority. (this deliberateness will make you more creative, productive and generally gracious. on your death bed, you will think about all the amazing sex you had this lifetime.)

burn your to-do list.

write poetry. one a day.

make a point to be as encouraging as possible, as much as possible, to everyone possible.

don't look back.

if you feel like you're always failing, consider that this is part of being an artist. let it be a divine inclination. keep going.

enter.

leave.

eat real food.

often refuse to be in the presence of people who make you feel repressed, anxious, or pull your frequency down.

do not entertain haters.

send light to the haters.

give it away. you probably don't need it and someone else does.

turn off the tv.

let it be easy.

burn candles. during the day.

fall in love. with yourself. with the person you're with. with the persons in your orbit.
because no one is perfect, but you can let the love be perfect for the both of you.
because everyone -- everyone -- is a doorway to God.
because you can get there from here.

because life is short.

Started my year off with a wonderful surprise - an email from Hieu, one of my students from Vietnam, with the picture below and a short but sweet message, "we all hope that you have a good work in the coming new year!" It's so humbling to know that they still think of me. I miss them every day. And, they look so grown up and beautiful in their ao dai's.



This is the picture I sent them in return. They loved looking at pictures of my friends, so I try to send some with every reply. With this one, I said "I rang in the new year with some of my closest, oldest friends. I couldn't be happier!" And it's true.