I wonder why it was so much easier for me to write when I was in Vietnam. I had a lot of extra time and was incredibly introspective.. but I wish that writing had stuck with me. These days I'm usually uninspired to blog unless I'm sharing someone else's words and I wonder if that will ever change. I hope it does.

Today's post is inspired by this great piece about the things that matter.

Friends, friends, friends. People weigh family and friends differently. Family is important, family comes first. I'm not disputing this, but my friends are my family. Ever since I could remember. When I was younger I was upset about the fact that my family was small, not that close, kinda fucked up. And I was embarrassed that my people, my rocks, were my friends. As I grew I realized I wasn't the only one whose family was kinda fucked up and that I'm actually incredibly lucky to have such amazing friends. Today that's more true than ever. So this is just a post to say how grateful I am for that.

This weekend my mom came to visit and I wasn't quite sure what to expect. As a complete surprise to me, my oldest and best friend came to visit, too! For the most part, it was a great weekend and it was so, so, good to see her. I grew up with her. She knows me. Unfortunately, we don't talk too often. I'm always doing a million things, she's always going a million things, distance is easy, communication is sometimes hard. I know she loves me, she knows I love her. The most amazing thing about a friendship like ours is that even if we don't talk for weeks, when we do it is like no time has passed. Sometimes I get mad that she's not the best at keeping in touch, but in retrospect it doesn't change a single thing. That's just the type of friendship we have. Whenever I go home she will be there and we will spend time with each other and she'll come to visit me no matter where in the world I might go. It's so comforting to have that. Thankful for old friends.

The past twenty four hours have been a little rough for me. As I was walking around the city contemplating things I realized that the only person I wanted to talk to is someone I seem to be loosing touch with. The past few weeks I've been cursing her both in my head and to others, which I feel awful about, but I assume is my way of dealing with our new friendship, which for multiple reasons has changed from what we're both used to. So rather than be sad about how I haven't talked to her in so long, I just sent her a text and told her I missed her. She called me back and we had a really good talk. We caught up on each other lives, gossiped about our friends, complained about how we are too busy and too young to want to go to bed at nine every night and not go out on the weekends because we're so tired. We didn't talk about any of the things that have been bothering me, she didn't know I had a hard day... but I still felt better after we got off the phone. As much as it's been hard getting use to this new type of friendship we have, I know she will always 100% be there for me, and I hope she knows the same.

And then there are the people that surprise you. An ex who had a previous fault of not being a good conversationalist when it came to the things that mattered totally pulled through for me last night. Out of no where, made things a little bit better. We're not gonna be 'friends' all of the sudden and I wouldn't call him crying... but I am so thankful that he was around last night and that he was so supportive of me when he really didn't have to be. After my mini break down we just kept talking. I told him I was thinking of moving to the pacific northwest and he reminded me that I hate the rain, love the beach, and used to want San Diego. I don't remember when or why I changed my mind. He asked me where all of my hippy stuff went in my room and why and how I started listening to things other than jam bands. It's funny the things people remember and it's funny how people change. I wish I could have answered his questions. Then we started talking thoughts on politics, the draft, abortion. He's changed to, and I give him more credit then I have in the past. Thankful for the things I never ever expected.

And then there's Marisa. We never end up hanging out because I always flake out, she has way too many friends and does way too many things for me to keep up with, she listens to my bullshit and she laughs at me when I do stupid things (this happens often). I can talk to her about my recent fling or we can discuss the education crisis in urban cities. She's smarter than me and I love listening to her opinions and ideas. She loves wine [almost] as much as I do and is always dressed at least three times nicer than me. She was completely supportive of me in Vietnam and listens to me bitch about not being able to decide on Grad School. My favorite thing about her? She's one of the most interesting people I know. She loves to learn, and she inspires me. Despite the fact that I feel like I get more than I give, she's always there and I'm pretty damn thankful I know her.

Those are just a few things that have recently been brought to my attention. The list goes on and on about how grateful I am, but it wouldn't be an interesting read. I'm guess I'm just really lucky.